"Ships are safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are built for"- Anonymous

Below is a post from my mom who, as many of you know, had the pleasure of staying with us last week. Upon arrival to San diego, I had this beautiful message sitting in my inbox. It stands as a tribute to her time spent here with us. It stands as a fresh perspective, and we hope you will enjoy it as much as we did. 

with love, 

tkm & eeb
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My week began last Monday when I arrived in Jamaica to a typical hot muggy summer day -  96 degrees in the shade.  I was picked up at the airport by the girl's trusty taxi driver Ken who whisked me out of the airport and into my adventure.  It felt good to be home.  Palisados road greeted me with the calm of Kingston Harbour on one side and the wild Caribbean Sea on the other. Immediately I was taken back in time as I saw familiar sights, the coconut man still there selling jelly coconuts to passing motorists ordering up cool coconut water right out of the husk.  Driving through the streets of Kingston my life here until 1999 when our family moved to San Diego flashed before my eyes: familiar places, familiar sights, sounds and smells. Home.  I was so excited to see Tara and meet Elin. And they greeted me with broad smiles as we pulled into Marigold straight from the airport.  I immediately noticed their attire - shorts, baggy t-shirts and sandals. Ready for work and ready for any accident or mess that may come their way (which as they've described comes often).  As Elin pushed a laughing child on the rusted swing set in the front yard, Tara took me on a brief tour.  First to meet Ms Davidson, then round to the back and into the school room...and she began to introduce me as her special friend to all of the kids. "This is Jackie, this is Akeel, this is Janeel, this is Bimbola"... and with three children hugging my legs and jumping up into my arms my heart was already melting.  

Tara was clearly a fixture with the children.  They lept into her arms, kissed and hugged her tightly as we moved through the place. As we continued on the tour, my eye caught the bright paper mache solar system the girls had made with the children hanging from a string across the school room. Juxtaposed against the worn and broken playground equipment in the dusty and overgrown yard outside. It was exhilarating to see the photos of the children on the walls and the craft work that I have read about in the blog in bright technicolor before my eyes. Walking through the rest of the facility I could smell the pumpkin soup the children had for lunch and a the underlying fume of urine. Kids will be kids right?  I was proud I was inspired and I was present to the magnitude of the work these two young women have done and the difference they have already made here.

“Ships are safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are built for” quote of the day picked by me (as the special guest, Elin is so sweet) for the girls on Tuesday morning.  Each day a hand written quote is randomly picked from a bag given to them by a close friend, Rachel, back in Nashville and stuck on the fridge with magnets. Small white papers inscribed with black ink litter the fridge and stick out in every which angle.  Little would I know how far their ships would venture out into the open seas and how their sea worthiness would be tested that day.   

It was the day all the children would be leaving Marigold to be placed in other homes while the roof undergoes repairs, and the facility renovated.  It was also the last day the girls would get to spend with the children in the home.  I dropped them off at 8:30am bright eyed and energetic and when I saw them again at 2:30pm they looked as if the wind had gone out of their sails and their engines broken.  It had clearly been a rough ride as they briefly described the experience of watching each child get off the bus and walk away: garbage bag over shoulder with some clothes and food.  Heartbroken. It was clear that the day had taken a deep toll inspite of the essential oils I had massaged into their hearts that morning, “release”, “gratitude” , “joy”, “valor”, “lemon” and “peace and calming” and I knew it was not the time to engage them in conversation.  So I nurtured myself and I nurtured them and they slept and slept for 3 hours before being able to speak. 

That night I took them to visit some old family friends, Sonita, Ricky and Clive Morin. Ricky and Clive were close friends of my parents when they were alive. We arrived on their doorstep at 8:30 at night without notice and we were welcomed as beloved daughters would be.  My treat was that Ricky’s sister who I’ve fondly known as “Tia Sonia” was there too.  It was a magical 90 minutes hearing stories of my Mom and Dad, Tara getting to know her grandparents and me feeling like I was 10 years old in a house I had played at and celebrated and cried at 30 odd years ago.

Routine is good; and I was absorbed into the girls routine as quickly as my daily 32oz of coconut water was absorbed into my contantly sweating body.  I particularly enjoyed our daily afternoon runs at Mona Dam, equiped with our iPods running together but in our own worlds.  I was impressed by how much cooking they do, especially the Jamaican Pumpkin Soup complete with dumplings and spinners!  And Green banana chips along with comfort foods like pasta and morning omlettes. Every day we each enjoyed at least 2 Bombay mangos, a Jamaican variety that is like an explosion of flavor and a small piece of nirvana in every mouthful.   

I loved the way everyone seemed to know I was on the island even though I told no one I was coming!  Bumping into friends everywhere so nice; our friend Liz who look me to a lunch at raw food restaurant that is a well kept secret in Kingston, nourishing my body and soul; Spending time with friends like Odette and Marie and Heather and Sandy and Sophia made my trip… and reminded me of what’s really important in life. People and being connected with those I love and love me;  I went to a Tea Party at Marie’s house and I haven’t had so much fun and jokes in a long time.  Being with Odette was like being with a trusty old pillow where I could relax and be myself and I laughed until my stomach hurt every time we got together.

The week went by like wild fire. And before I knew what happenned it was Saturday and we were on our way to visit the Marigold children in their new homes. Our first stop was where 5 yr old Jackie and a handful of infants had been placed. When we got there she looked lost. Completely numb.  All she could do to deal with the rage of being ripped from her home of 5 years, where she had been since she was a week old, her place of safety and the women she knew as her surrogate parents.  Her little face could hardly hide the fear, confusion and disappointment of being left in a strange place with strange faces.  She soon thawed though…melted by the unconditional love that Elin and Tara showered on her… going from one set of arms to the next…covered in kisses …swinging on the rusty swing set and what a relief and a joy it was to hear her peels of laughter as they tickled her, kissed her little face and made animal sounds with her.  Then it was time to go.  “Unu go way?” and her face fell. Unable to hold back the tears she clung to Tara.  As Elin peeled her off and set her down at a table inside for lunch, we wiped our own tears, unable to utter a word…our hearts breaking.  Why did she have to be there? Couldn’t I just take her home with me? Injustice was chipping away at my heart, and as we walked away from Jackie the three of us fell into silence.  Our next stop was a second home just down the street. There we met a group of Marigold kids ranging in age from 1-7...  Akeel, Jeneel, Leisha, Michael and Bimbola screaming “TAWA”  “ELIN” flocking to them with outstreched arms clinging to legs and jostling for a space in their arms was almost too much for me to bear.  Other children longing for a mother’s touch or a gentle smile were drawn to me and I spent the next two hours swinging, holding , and just nurturing love starved little ones as any mother would.  Still, we left emotionally drained abandoning our plan to go to a local beach  and we went home  our hearts heavy our minds full.  

Sunday we were off to Lime Cay.  A small Cay off the coast of Kinston where Kingstonians relax and recharge in the warm caribbean sea…crystal clear aquamarine water lapping the body and soothing the soul.  One of the highlights of my trip was a resounding “A-U-N-T-Y  M-A-R-Y” coming from the bow of a boat docked off the Cay as we were leaving on our little canoe, the next thing I knew he’s diving off this huge luxury boat and swimming madly through the water to the canoe heaving his body over the side of the canoe breathlessly saying “give me a kiss Aunty Mary” so I held his face hugging for a second before releasing him back into the water…. It’s Dane one of my son Ryan’s best friends in elementary school who I haven’t seen since I left 10 years ago. Bliss.

My last trip to Marigold with the girls Monday morning wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.  I stopped briefly to talk to Mrs. Davidson the director of Marigold, to tell her what I had observed with Jackie and to ask her if she could be moved to the other home to be with the children she knew.  Re-counting the situation I could not hold back the tears and as a tear dotted the corner of her eye she told me how long it had taken for Jackie to come out of her shell and assured me that she would call the placement officer and see what could be done to move her.  She also said Jackie would be returning to Marigold along with all the Glenhope children in a month after the renovation is complete.  Also that neither Jackie nor the other Glenhope kids are up for adoption.  They are wards of the state while their parents get back on their feet.  One last hug of my baby, and Elin who is now my baby too, “see you in 2 weeks mama”And with my shoulders lightly stinging from sun burn and my eyes stinging with tears I drove home with my heart so full it could have burst.

mkm