"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older." - Abraham Sutzkever

My new best friend is a two year old. She speaks to me I swear, but no one else can hear her or believes she can say anything other than "mama." Elin and I were in the newspaper. An immense amount of community support. Calls, Emails, Facebook, it is amazing how many people have heard about what we are doing at Marigold this summer. We are blessed to have such loving encouragement.

On Friday we slept in! (By slept in I mean woke up at 8). Elin baked fresh banana bread cupcakes which were delicious. We spent the morning at Shakti and then went over to Marigold later in the afternoon because there was a special treat planned in the afternoon.. A birthday party for all the children, with party hats, cupcakes with their initials on it, a bounce a-bout, Mothers donated patties, fruit punch, and a free afternoon to play and roam and explore. A birthday party I would never put a price tag on because it was a memory I will hold onto for the rest of my existence. My favorite part of the afternoon was watching the young toddlers enter a bounce a-bout... many their first time. In the beginning, they cried and cried and cried, fearful of this new world that was unsteady and unsure underneath their small feet. One got the hang of it, and soon there were 20 toddlers in a tangle of limbs, crashing into one another. Janeel ran around in circles until she saw someone watching her, then she would roll head first into the cracks of the bounce a-bout and scream with delight once she saw you still watching. Jamani jumped from 5 feet away into my lap, crashing down on my thighs and laughing uncontrollably. Only to do it again and again until Anna sat herself down right in between my lap and let the waves from the other children entertain her senses. It was a vibrant environment, electrified by the freedom of the afternoon.

The children were able to do anything they wanted this afternoon and not be told how to do it, where to do it, or even why. They ran in circles. They used the swings. They colored with crayons on the desks instead of on their party hats. They made 4 party hats instead of one. For supper, they ate the cupcake first, simply because they could choose. and then they ate cake. and then pineapple orange sorbet in cones. and they had 5 cups of fruit punch instead of one. and we loved them for it. I loved them for it, and in turn marinated them in hugs and kisses. I loved the workers for letting them be, and for swinging them in the air, and for carrying the babies from the nursery and holding them in the bounce a-bout. I loved mrs. grant for taking me into a room with 4 other ladies and blessing me for my birthday with a hand on my head and a hand on my heart. While she held me, the other women encircled me hand-in-hand praying for me, protecting me. Praying for my health and for my prosperity, for a shield from evil, and the gift of love and safety.

Today we gave the children the gift of fun. The gift of being a kid. One puzzle piece out of a 1,000 puzzle piece set called childhood. And in exchange I got to celebrate my birthday with my 37 best friends here. So what if they are all under 8?

I walked out of Marigold that day slathered in love, doused in compassion and exuding generosity. Hearing the children wish me happy birthday over and over and over again pulled at my heart strings as in return I wished them a happy birthday, and fed them a bite of their cupcake, and gave them rides on my back. There was nothing I wanted more than that afternoon to be about them. I have been lucky enough to have 18 birthday parties; They have had one.

After eating sushi, catching up with old friends; making new friends, and dancing the night away, it was time for the annual Ferry field trip. A trip taken with the school aged children of the Ferry community to a mystery location to reward them for attending school. I could think of no better way to spend my actual birthday on an adventure with 60 children to the beach. We drove up to ocho rios to dunns river falls, a park filled with attractions; the main two being the ability to scale up a waterfall and the second to be by the beach! So we did both, and enjoyed every moment of it. In the heat of the afternoon, I took a walk down the beach and settled at the end by a busted up pier to extend my legs out and lay on my back as the refreshing Jamaican ocean water lapped around me. Taking a savasana in the middle of the day, I practiced stillness. I was acutely reminded of the Hawthorne quote about happiness.

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”

 

And the butterfly alighted.  

 

I felt so content and peaceful. So grateful for the opportunity to be in Jamaica on my birthday, and to be able to celebrate it with 60 strangers who knew as much about me as I did them- close to nothing. It was unconventional to say the least, a once in a lifetime opportunity. I leaped into it uncensored, with no preconceived notions or expectations, heart first, head second, two feet in: literally. 

 

I spent the rest of the afternoon traversing up and down the waterfalls with the help of my 6 new friends. Ochi locals who took me in for the afternoon, pulling me up the waterfall as we all sang justin bieber songs acapella and danced. The coolest part of the waterfall is that its broken up into 4 huge chunks, so you start at the bottom on the beach, and work your way up, pausing in between to wade in shallow pools, an hour journey or so. Once we reached the top, I waded over to mother nature's massage chair (a smooth inlet of rock) and let the heavy crashing water pound down on my sore muscles relieving all the tension that has been building up in my neck and shoulders since this journey began.

 

Driving back on the bus, I listened to prepubescent voices singing "i wanna make love right na na na" as Alex wrote a love letter to Jessica, and as I had a hand resting on my shoulder for the 2 hour drive back to Kingston. An 11 year old sang love songs to me in my ear and whenever I turned around to inquire about his raising singing voice he looked at me and smiled, and kept on singing anyways. I became incisively aware of the human experience. Of the global nature of it all. It sounds so ironic, but how international the world is. How the raw experiences of love, of curiosity, of that fuzzy gray line between childhood and adulthood transcends all man-made lines in the sand. We are all the same. We achieve. we make mistakes. we feel sadness.. we smile anyways. We fall in love, and then we get our hearts broken. But we pick up the pieces and try again, because we crave that association, that gift to become so close to another human being. To thrive through relationships, to struggle through relationships, to become molded by the people you surround yourself with. After Alex finished his letter to Jessica, he pulled out two more sheets of paper and wrote one to Caroline. Boys will be boys.

On Sunday, we went out to Maiden Cay with friends to the beach. It was a gorgeous day out, the water was crystal blue and the temperature of bath water. I floated in the water for hours until the things sticking out of of my hand looked less like fingers, and more like prunes. The weekend ended perfectly, at Auntie Odette's house for the last birthday dinner. We had lasagna, rice and peas, and ox tail. (yes, you heard me right, OX tail.. on Elin's request). I took a bite just to say I tried it, but cows tail is not my forté. Best part was the dessert. My favorite of all time: strawberry shortcake.

Looking forward to this week and what it brings. Soaking up the love! and then squeezing it out on the kids and workers at Marigold :)

keep it irie, 

for rill,

tkm