mark her good

i feel like it's Christmas and Valentine's and my birthday and the day when they have chocolate chip banana bread for breakfast in the commons all at once. i am actually in Jamaica! and it feels so incredible to be home.

i was welcomed by Tara's dad Mr. Mullally at the airport yesterday and the first thing he said to me was: "well, you're here. you can start smiling now." i think this might have been his kind response to the mess i was, but it was such a sweet way to begin the trip. i can start smiling now. i'm here. after waddling to the car with the 190 pounds of luggage i somehow brought on the plane with me (thank you Delta), we celebrated by drinking the water out of freshly cut coconuts. yummy.



 

on our drive from the airport to the apartment, i found myself recognizing things along the way and getting soo excited. and then we saw Marigold. and i about passed out. they have a new sign! and i could see children through the bars on the porch. and the same broken toys were strewn on the ground and the gingham dresses of the workers were visible through the windows. and i got that same feeling of butterflies and elephants in my tummy, so happy to see them but equally as heavy-hearted to realize they have lived every day since i saw them last in the same situation.

we arrived at our apartment and met Lorna, a beautiful, sweet woman who was Tara's nanny while she grew up here. Lorna is married to Joe and together they have precious ten-month-old twins, Rebecca and Matthew. Lorna showed us our apartment, which is great. it's decorated in an interesting African theme (probably to remind us of our sweet friends there this summer!) and already feels comfortable. it just needs Tara.

i enjoyed spending the rest of the day at a Rotarian's home in the mountains of Kingston. Tara's dad is  member of the Rotary Club here and graciously brought me along to a dinner one of the presidents of the chapter held for the members.

 the people i met there were so wonderful, all driven to embrace the challenge of poverty that surrounds them. they are doing incredible work here, running programs with middle and high school students that encourages activism and leadership as well as fundraising to build and develop things for communities such as the playground Marshall and her team are currently building in St. Andrews. at one point Mr. Mullally brought me to the home's porch and pointed out the areas of Kingston we could see below. when he pointed the convent i have always stayed in on past trips, i was struck by the strangest thought. when we stay at the convent, we sit on the porch of our room at night and share with one another our gratefuls. from our porch we can see up into the mountains, and i still vividly remember feeling such bitterness towards the people who could so blindly live in the mountains while such suffering existed below them. and i realized that at that moment, i was with those people. and those people are compassionate, humble, and more aware of what their friends in the shantytowns experience than i ever have been or maybe will ever be. so i sat my self-righteous self down with them and listened with a refreshingly humbled perspective.

while still at dinner, a State of Emergency was raised for Kingston. civil strife has broken out in the downtown area of the city and civilians of those areas were being evacuated. Kingston is hurting right now, stripped of their peace and forced to grapple with the reality of horrific gang violence. drugs and money and guns have supplanted the truth and justice and hope that their government is supposed to be rooted in. boys are watching their fathers burn down police stations and all children are supposed to be taking country-wide examinations this week.

this morning God calmed my heart through a beautiful conversation with my friend here, Amoy. when i called to check on her this morning, she told me that she is scared. that everything going on here is "just horrible." but that we need to pray for innocence. that we need to pray for our hearts to remain filled with love for these people because they are still our friends, they have just gotten a little lost. this is a woman two weeks from having her third child. she has no comforts but instead every reason to let her heart harden. but she has beautifully embraced mercy as her shield rather than indifference or hate. what a precious soul. please let me learn from her.

things in Kingston are expected to calm down in the next fews days (then we will be able to go see our friends!) but until then we are laying low. hopefully everything that is going on will guide the country in a new direction with less corruption.

i watched a TED talk this morning that gave me the biggest smile and is in a weird way so perfect for this time. it's about hope. and learning from children.

sending so much love from Kingston,

eeb